My D and her friend are not going to prom -they went last year and hated it- but want to dress up. So they're having an alternative prom party in our (small) basement. A handful of kids will likely be here during regular prom hours, but they expect most of their friends to arrive after prom. They're inviting 40 (!!) kids and expect half to show up. But of course you never know...
We've had a couple of more formal, much smaller parties (like the pre-prom dinner last year) at our house, but obviously those were much more supervised, with multiple parents in the same room as the kids. While we intend to be at home, definitely, we won't be hanging out downstairs at the party. I'm trying to figure out how to balance our responsibility as parents/hosts with making sure we give them all enough space to have fun. They're seniors, after all, and will be on their own at college soon, so a totally "chaperoned" event just doesn't seem right.
There must be some way to find a balance between being responsible and being such kill-joys that no one has fun. Because providing a safe place for them to celebrate makes more sense than them all driving around going to some potentially UNsafe party, right?
I just don't know what that balance is. For instance, what do you do if some kid arrives -or worse, starts to leave to drive home- and you suspect he/she is drunk? Do you breathalyze the kid? How mortifying! Yet, what if he is drunk and gets in an accident? How would we ever live with ourselves?
Last year, some local parents were charged with providing a place for underage drinking. They claimed they did not know it was going on, but the police received an anonymous tip and found kids vomiting and "evidence of underage drinking and marijuana use". I can't remember what happened but I know the parents were facing fines and jail time... and they claimed they didn't realize it was happening.
We've been through a lot with my D and I trust that she, personally, won't partake, but I can't be so sure about the other kids. I kind of doubt my D's friends would be that drunk and messy, but -especially with the number of kids being invited- it seems possible, if not likely, that SOMEONE will have at least a joint or a at least a small amount of booze.
I want to support my D in hosting this party, but I want to be responsible as well. What would you do?
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